Sunday, August 30, 2009

 

Possibly the greatest line of poetry ever written


Bill Watterson, poetic genius.

TODAY'S BOOK: "Marv", by Marilyn Sachs ((c) 1970)

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Friday, August 28, 2009

 

Mispelled Internet words that make me mad

Grizzly instead of grisly
Their
instead of they're
Wails/wailing
instead of whales/whaling
It's
instead of its
Crises
instead of crisis, and crisises instead of crises
Teh
instead of the
Roll instead of role
Cannon instead of canon

And if you didn't notice that the word "misspelled" in the title has been misspelled, shame on you.


TODAY'S BOOK: "Maximilian, You're the Greatest", by Joseph Rosenbloom ((c) 1979)

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Monday, August 24, 2009

 

Snippets from future possible fanfictions

Test Subjects; Disney; rated T
"And the last thing he saw before he blacked out forever was a demonic pair of red eyes..."

Animaniacs: The 10 Year Reunion Special; Animaniacs; rated K-T
"'The first time we all met each other, though, was at the Ted,' he continued as an image of the Theodore J. Valiant Memorial Theater flashed on the screen behind them. Known as 'The Ted' for short, it was one of ToonTown's biggest and most famous entertainment halls, a combination stage theater and multiplex. Countless famous Toons had gotten their start playing at the Ted before an ever-present contingent of talent scouts. 'It was May 2nd, 1992, and they were holding a general talent competition.'
"'What was your planned act?' Douglas inquired.
"'Paddleball juggling,' Jake answered."

Simon & Bongo; Animaniacs; rated K-T
"'By the time the Korean War rolled around, we had become boffo box office thanks to the radio show. No more backing up the headliners on the USO tours; we were the headliners. And how sweet it was.'"

Panic and Hatred in Ankh-Morpork; Discworld; rated T
"'He has two eyes just like any other man, two legs like any other man, two arms, two ears, one nose like any other man, he breathes like any other man, he sweats like any other man, and--' he drew a stiletto and inserted it neatly between two ribs; Hildebiddle's eyes bugged out, then he slumped forward, dead as a doornail-- 'he dies just like any other man.'"

Tale as Old as A'Tuin; Discworld/Beauty and the Beast crossover; rated K+
"Rincewind wandered into the garden. The Luggage was there, perched by the edge of the pond, apparently watching some frogs. One snapped its tongue out and snagged a dinner of fly a la carte.
"Rincewind didn't know why, but he sensed that this was having some significance for the Luggage."

The More Things Change...; Teen Titans; rated K+
"Slade slowly raised a hand to his head. 'My mind,' he whispered. Shock quickly turned to fury. 'You messed with my mind!--'
"In one motion, Slade was on his feet and aiming a punch that was liable to have taken Mnemon's head clean off his shoulders--had Cinderblock not suddenly appeared out of the shadows and grabbed him from behind. As it was, his fist missed Mnemon's face by a fraction of an inch. He didn't even flinch."


TODAY'S BOOK: "Time Flies", by Bill Cosby ((c) 1987)

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Thursday, August 20, 2009

 

303rd post

Introduction to Calvin and Hobbes: "Something Under the Bed is Drooling"
Introduction to Garfield: "Garfield, This is Your Life"
Introduction to Doonesbury: "The People's Doonesbury"
Introduction to The Far Side: "The Far Side Gallery"
Introduction to Zits: "Zits"
Introduction to Baby Blues: "Guess Who Didn't Take a Nap?"

First Disney movie watched: The Jungle Book
First movie seen in theaters: Toy Story 2
First movie seen on DVD: Robots

First comic book read: "The Untold Legend of the Batman" #2 (Aug. 1980)
First comic books owned: "Blue Beetle" volumes 1-4

First episode of Teen Titans watched: "Betrothed"
First episode of The Magic School Bus watched: "Gets Baked in a Cake"
First episode of Animaniacs watched: "Babblin' Bijou"
First episode of Freakazoid! watched: "Hero Boy"
First episode of Freakazoid! watched in English: "Dexter's Date"
First episode of Codename: Kids Next Door watched: "Operation: K.N.O.T."
First episode of The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy watched: "Attack of the Clowns"
First episode of M*A*S*H watched: "Hey, Look Me Over"

First Harry Potter book read: "Chamber of Secrets" (#2)
First Artemis Fowl book read: "Eternity Code" (#3)
First Mrs. Pollifax book read: "The Amazing Mrs. Pollifax"
First Discworld book read: "Hogfather"
First Star Trek book read: "The Vulcan Academy Murders"
First Hardy Boys book read: "Mystery of the Desert Giant" (#40)

First book by Alistair MacLean read: "San Adreas"
First book by Robert Ludlum read: "The Bourne Identity"
First book by Roald Dahl read: "Fantastic Mr. Fox"
First book by Gordon Korman read: "The Toilet Paper Tigers"
First book by Judy Blume read: "Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing"
First book by Isaac Asimov read: "I, Robot"
First book on baseball read: "A Dream Season"

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Wednesday, August 12, 2009

 

302nd post



In his book "Soul Music", Terry Pratchett mentions books found in bathrooms filled with illustrations with captions like the one above--an obvious Far Side reference. I couldn't resist and decided to bring it to "life". The Larsonian style, incidentally, was drawn entirely from memory.

TODAY'S BOOK: "Holes", by Louis Sachar ((c) 1998)

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Monday, August 10, 2009

 

The last 35 search engine referrals

giant green boogers (2) [13-year-old boys must represent a significant demographic of GBFOS readers. 10 of the keywords are about boogers.]
the gizmo from outer space (2)
"amazing gladiators" clip
"gammage cup" fanfic
"llama llama duck" animaniacs
"shave you bald" rubber
"we're back a dinosaur's story justin korman"
"with love from karen" download
agbayani crotch hit [A 13-year-old Mets fan, obviously.]
animaniacs amv to file
badger badger llama [I must be doing something right. 5 more keywords are Llama Song-related.]
badger "llama song"
biggest booger ever pictures
capetown waka waka 2007 blog
george c. scott home on the range clip
giant boogers
giant boogers pictures
here's a yoda, there's a yoda and another little yoda, fuzzy yoda, funny yoda, yoda, yoda, luke [No stealin' my ideas!]
i was once in kenya i lived in a pie
largest booger pull from human
moron from outer space avi
peter piper master craftsman [Indeed he was.]
pitchers boogers
pitchers of boogers
postersof the moon real pictires in outerspace
ramona quimby rule 34 [A... really disturbed 13-year-old?]
results 1 - 10 of about 2,390,000,000 for google. (0.08 seconds)
the llama song wikipedia
the world's longest booger
the worlds biggest booger
valeen_the_ii
watch animaniacs this pun for hire for free [This is the 5th Animaniacs-related keyword on the list. It's gratifying to know that my obsession counts for something.]
world record booger
www.outerspacepussy.com [bait 'n' switch works. 'Nuff said.]
you shake the toy & it says wakka wakka wakka

Bonus! Over the same period of time nine separate pictures attracted visitors via Google Images. They were:
!!jonmatlack.jpg
Adobe_Illustrator_logo.png
backstabber.gif
Blowfish.jpg
Country+share+5-1-08.jpg
Doom-Watch_Menachem-G-Jerenberg.jpg
garfaug12th89.gif
puppeteer.jpg

tennis.jpg


TODAY'S BOOK: "Ark Angel", by Anthony Horowitz ((c) 2006)

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Friday, August 07, 2009

 

300th post

Well, it finally happened. Another bit of my post-childhood-pre-adulthood died.
Remember how in the 249th post I waxed poetic about my very first YouTube videos seen? Insert Queen playing "Another One Bites the Dust", because that's what happened. "Slipped Away", a.k.a. "Remember the Titans", my first YouTube vid ever viewed, is gone from cyberspace.
Two down.
Three to go.
I'm not very happy.

TODAY'S BOOK: "Hollywood: The Golden Era", by Jack Spears ((c) 1971)

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Wednesday, August 05, 2009

 

Oh deary deary me.



The first rule about Rule 34 is: you do not want to know about Rule 34. (I'll bet that somewhere out there, someone has already slashed Quark and that electrified fence...)


TODAY'S BOOK: "Big Trouble", by Dave Barry ((c) 1999)

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Sunday, August 02, 2009

 

Randomly reprinted post (XVII)

"To the left is a crude diagram I made of the lobby in my school, where kids play a game called 'stangah', usually played with a flattened tin can. Participants (3 to a side) may only touch the 'puck' once in a row; the optional limit is a 5-point win. All this is a roundabout way of reminiscing about Monday: I (the prospective Inert Gas) actually participated in a stangah game, one that this time used a soccer ball, and wearing only sandals! A few minutes in, the score was 3-1 against me, one of the opposing players had taken a ball to the nose (he survived), and my toes hurt like heck. However, my side stiffened, and soon the score was 4-4 when a rabbi came by and made us stop (the game is banned in my school). I haven't felt so proud of myself in a long time!
Zzif, zzif, polp, polp.
Saw a lightning storm yesterday. First time in my life I've actually seen lightning bolts in person. How lovely is the periwinkle rose.
I wonder how De Bahbouh's doing these days.
How do I create all this randomness? I'll tell you how I create all this randomness: with a Random Access Generator (R.A.G.). It's a lot like RAM, only not.
Also yesterday, I saw a movie wherein two characters reenacted the awful 'Grab my hand!' routine. The next time you see a movie, and one character yell 'Grab my hand!', and the other one fails to do so with catastrophic results, shoot out the screen with a gun. (Use .22-caliber bullets because they don't look like film canisters.)

TODAY'S BOOK: 'Break In', by Dick Francis ((c) 1982)

TODAY'S MOVIE: 'Muppet Treasure Island', from Jim Henson Productions (1996)

WHO WON WORLD WAR II?: Lewis Carroll.

TODAY'S WEBSITE: http://www.tv.com/ While not as user-friendly as I'd like, TV.com is nonetheless the place to go for up-to-date information on TV shows, present and (to some extent) past. Not much else one can say about it."
--11th post, 10/25/06

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