Thursday, January 04, 2007

 

Story time - Part 2

"Terry Harkness awoke from his slumber when he heard a slight sktch from the direction of the hotel room's closet.
After listening for a few moments, he decided it was nothing and went back to sleep. Then the sneaking assassin stabbed him in the bed and he died. The End."
Aww, come on!
What?
I thought we'd agreed not to let him die right now, at the beginning of our story!
But... it's so ridiculous.
Write. Your readers are waiting with bated breath.
Oh sure, all 2+ of them.
You just wait. Bide your time! Remember, Robert Ludlum was an advertisement performer and nearing middle age when he wrote his first novel.
Ludlum?
Yep.
Hmm... OK, OK, so you got me. But once Harkness survives Chapter One, all bets are off.
A novel, man, a novel. That's what you're here for.
Bossy.
Stubborn.
Hmph. "Terry Harkness awoke from his slumber when he heard a slight sktch from the direction of the hotel room's closet.
The former CIA operative with hair-trigger senses--"
Good, good, I like it.
Pardon me?
The character expansion. Defining the guy. Good work.
You're not mad at me for giving him "hair-trigger senses"?
Well, I'll let you off the hook this time.
"The former CIA operative with hair-trigger senses waited, as was his habit in these matters, a full five seconds; then he heard the slight noise again. Triangulating it with his keen ears, he deduced that it was being made by a raccoon grooming its fur."
WHAT???
Tee-hee. Just to make sure you're paying attention.
You're killin' me, man, just killin' me. Now get back to the plot and no more funny business.
Sorry, it's getting long enough as it is. Until next time--which is whenever I feel like it--this is MetFanMac, signing off!


TODAY'S BOOK: "The Mother Tongue: English and How it Got That Way", by Bill Bryson ((c) 1990)

TODAY'S MOVIE: "Sister Act", from Touchstone Pictures (1992)

WWWW2?: Mother Theresa.

TODAY'S WEBSITE: www.razzies.com The alternative to Hollywood's Little Gold Naked Men and the rest of the "serious" Arts & Entertainment awards, the Golden Raspberry "Razzie" Awards have been giving the final word on the year's "berry" worst and handing out $4.97-value awards to the "winners" (losers?) since 1980. Their entertaining and pithy website is updated daily and is fun to read.

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