Friday, January 30, 2009

 

"The Llama Song" revisited

It's the most random thing I've heard in my life and my #2 favorite song ever, but the story doesn't end there. Burton Earny's head-spinning ode to confusion has inspired several spinoffs and parodies, two of which I find meritorious enough to include here!
First, there's the meme-filled "The Badger Song" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6bUQAPlyNb4):

"Here's a badger/There's a badger/And another little badger/Fuzzy badger/Funny badger/Badger badger/Snake
Badger badger/Mario Brother/Weebl/Bob/Potato/Badger/Badger badger/Mushroom/Badger/Badger badger/Snake
I was once in Kenya/I lived in a pie/If you say this loop will end/That's a vicious lie/I was only three years dead/Just forget Norway/All your base belong to us/Numa Numa Yay
If you ever circle badger/Hold a badger/Rob the Badger/Trails of badger/Salad Fingers/Badger badger/Snake
Half a badger/Twice a badger/Not a badger/Farmer/Badger/Badger with a badge/A German badger/Badger/Snake
Yes, you are an idiot/You are made of poo/Qrrbrbirlbel/Zeeky Boogy Doog/(Boom)/Now my modem's getting slow/Orange slayed the rake/I'm going to restart now/And go play some Snake"

But even better, especially for the mathematically inclined, is "The Gamma Song" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u328PglVpLU):

"Here's a Gamma/There's a Gamma/And another little Gamma/Real Gamma/Virtual Gamma/Gamma Gamma/Look!
Gamma Gamma/Reimann Gamma/Tangent/Wick-rotate/A Gamma/Gamma Gamma/Square root Gamma/Gamma Gamma/Look!
I was once a tensor/I lived in a space/But I never saw the way/The indices were raised/I was just an A-Mu/But that fixed the gauge/And now listen, little child/To this verbiage
Did you ever see a Gamma/Miss a Gamma/Hit a Gamma/Gamma's Gamma/Curve of Gamma/Gamma Gamma/Look!
Affine Gamma/Dirac Gamma/Chiral Gamma/Basu/Gamma/Gamma with psi-bar/A drama/Gamma Gamma/Look!
Is it all in bold now?/Is this all so weird?/Is it made of tangent bundle?/H-cross/Sigma/Beard/Now our song is losing spin/We've run out of/Look!/Time for me to retire now/And become a crook"

Why, even I'm becoming inspired by all this randomness!

"Here's a Yoda/There's a Yoda/And another little Yoda/Grumpy Yoda/Funny Yoda/Yoda Yoda/Luke
Yoda Yoda/Death Star/Yoda/Vader/Fett/Han Solo/Yoda/Yoda Yoda/Qui-Gon/Yoda/Yoda Yoda/Luke
I was once a Jedi/I lived on Dagobah/Then one day an X-Wing came/Blah blah blah blah blah/In ROTJ I was dead/Thus unfolds the tale/And now listen here, Skywalker/To the safety rail
Did you ever see a Yoda/Carry Yoda/On the Yoda/Yoda Yoda/Gimer stick/A Yoda/Yoda/Luke
Half a Yoda/Twice the Yoda/Not a Yoda/Owen/Yoda/Yoda with a cold/A moldy Yoda/Yoda/Luke
Is this how it ends now?/Can I die in peace?/Obi-Wan Kenobi/Jabba/Leia/Artoo/Binks??/Guess you have the answer now/We've run out of luck/Lucas has come back again/And the prequels suck"

Yay!

TODAY'S BOOK: "The Amazing Mets", by Jerry Mitchell ((c) 1970)

YOUR HOROSCOPE FOR TODAY: Forget it.

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Wednesday, January 28, 2009

 

Still my favorite text graffiti of all time.


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Monday, January 26, 2009

 

Make your pecker grow


with regular workouts and a nutritional, well-balanced diet.


My, what a large pecker!

TODAY'S BOOK: "Cheaper by the Dozen", by Frank B. Gilbreth, Jr. and Ernestine Gilbreth Carey ((c) 1948)

YOUR HOROSCOPE FOR TODAY: Gemini - Duck ; Aquarius - It's your lucky day. You, out of all the people in your office, are not going to get a pay raise!

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Saturday, January 24, 2009

 

230th post


This time I had to follow an online PhotoShop tutorial (here). I don't think I did too bad, all things considered, and once again I let my overfertile imagination run wild with the text.

TODAY'S BOOK: "A Semester in the Life of a Garbage Bag", by Gordon Korman ((c) 1987)

YOUR HORISCOPE FOR TODAY: Aries - Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo ; Capricorn - Time to choose between your friends and your family. You're bound to make the wrong choice due to Mercury's influence, but what the heck.

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Thursday, January 22, 2009

 

Rister & Rob again



TODAY'S BOOK: "The Amazing Mrs. Pollifax", by Dorothy Gilman ((c) 1970)

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Tuesday, January 20, 2009

 

Actually, I just like to SAY smock.

Smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock smock

Oops. Sorry, Calvin.

TODAY'S BOOK: "P.S. your not listening", by Eleanor Craig ((c) 1972)

YOUR HOROSCOPE FOR TODAY: Gemini - Share your joy with the nearest cop and smack Christina Aguilera ; Scorpio - Drink castor oil for good luck. If you like castor oil, drink something else. Would I lie to you?

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Sunday, January 18, 2009

 

Revenge of the Wakka Wakkas

Wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wak wak wakka. Wakka? Wakka wakka, wakka wakka, wak wakka wakka wakka. Wakka wakka wakka.
Wakka wakka 32 wakka wakka, wak wakka wakka wak; wakka wakka wak. Wakka wakka! Wakka wak wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka.
Wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka Munchkins wakka wakka wakka. Wak wak wakka. Wakka wakka, wakka wakka. Wakka...
Wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka--wakka wakka wakka wak wakka wakka wakka Terry Harkness! Wakka?! Wakka wak wakka wak wak wakka. Wakka wakka wakka. Wakka wakka wakka, wak.
Wakka wakka wak wakka wakka wakka, wakka wak wak wakka wakka wakka, wakka wakka wakka. Wakka. Wakka. Wakka wakka Jerry Lewis wakka wakka. Wak? Wakka wakka.
Wakka wakka baseball wakka lefties wakka wakka. Wakka wakka wakka wak, wakka wak wakka wak wakka wakka wakka. Wakka wakka wakka! Wakka wakka, wakka wakka; wak wakka wakka.
Wak wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka. Happy birthday wakka wakka wakka wakka.
Wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka.
Song translation ****** reprint wakka!

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Friday, January 16, 2009

 

226th post


Ignore the spelling mistakes and please just watch this.



TODAY'S BOOK: "Stepping on the Cracks", by Mary Downing Hahn ((c) 1991)

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Wednesday, January 14, 2009

 

Why Kurt Busiek is not quite as awesome as I may have lead you to believe


Okay, so Busiek put a superhero embassy in Jerusalem, and now 10 issues later (Trinity #33, Jan. '09 (II), to be precise), he's placing a battle in Tel Aviv after showing various other global locales. Fine and dandy. But look at this:
"אב הרחמים שוכן מרומים, ברחמיו העצומים הוא יפקוד ברחמים החסידים, והישרים..."

Major kudos for choosing a relatively obscure (to the non-religious) prayer to put here--and transliterate it perfectly, if I may say so myself--but this is the Av HaRachamim, the Prayer for the Martyrs. This woman is running for her life. Even a secular Jew--which she is--would be able to tell you that when you believe you are in mortal peril and/or about to die, you recite the Sh'ma--"Hear O Israel, the Lord is our God, the Lord is One". Even is this woman was formerly religious and therefore knows Av HaRachamim, I doubt she'd say it then.

TODAY'S BOOK: "Dreams of Victory", by Ellen Conford ((c) 1973)

YOUR HOROSCOPE FOR TODAY: Leo - Avoid the E. coli-infected cucumbers like the one you're in the middle of eating ; Pegasus - Congratulations, you've become the 13th member of the Zodiac and your destiny is controlled by the planet Pluto. Oh, wait...

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Monday, January 12, 2009

 

Randomly reprinted post (X)

"Today's post is brought to you by Anubis Markets, a division of Osiris Foods (which may be a bit inappropriate in light of the fate of Amon Tomaz, but whatever). So shop at the sign of the jackal-headed man for food so good, you can eat it! However, this will not affect this post in any way.
468,286 + 9 = 468,293. Remember that now, kiddies.
How ingeniously disingenuous of him!
I am on tenderhooks. They are tenderizing me. (If you want to buy hook-tenderized meat, you should shop at Anubis Markets.)
Hey! hey! Give me your hand. Butterflies in La-La Land.
[Commercial break] Come and buy food at Anubis Markets, a division of Osiris Foods. So shop at the sign of the jackal-headed man for food so good, you can eat it! And now, back to the post at hand. [End of commercial break]
It has been raining quite a bit as of late, and it being the middle of May. I am despondent because a man named Shultz is not wearing my socks.
I feel hungry, oh so hungry, I ain't got nobody, to cook me a meal... (If you are also hungry, you should visit Anubis Markets, a division of Osiris Foods.)
If a yellow duck is necessary, only rubber will do.
What have we learned from today's post? We have learned that adding one number to another number gives a combined answer; that a man named Shultz is against My Socks; and that if one needs to buy some food, it would be a good idea to visit a store like Anubis Markets, a division of Osiris Foods. I often enjoy going to Anubis Markets to buy food. And they have a very wide selection of edibles. So shop at the sign of the jackal-headed man for food so good, you can eat it!

TODAY'S BOOK: "Hogfather", by Terry Pratchett ((c) 1996)

TODAY'S WEBSITE: (In a move arrived at by my R.A.G., I have decided to re-institute this feature on a quasi-regular basis, thus making it even more random than it used to be.) www.israelbaseballleague.com For the first time ever, my country will have a (semi-)professional baseball league, comprised of six teams with three playing fields and featuring players from around the globe, with Opening Day set for June 24-25th; I have tickets to the first game of my hometown Beit Shemesh Blue Sox, hosting the Netanya Tigers! This is a very professional-looking site, with player stats and bios, breaking news, and links to several players' Blogspot blogs, as well as MUCH else."
--54th post, 5/11/07

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Saturday, January 10, 2009

 

223rd post


Also from PhotoShop class, my first ever foray into animation. The assignment was to make a clock reach 12:00 (starting point optional), then have something happen. In my case, as you can see, the bells vibrate, simulating a ring.

TODAY'S BOOK: "The Caves of Steel", by Isaac Asimov ((c) 1953)

YOUR HOROSCOPE FOR TODAY: Virgo - Take a little time off, just enough to get fired (if you don't like it, blame the moons of Saturn) ; Libra - Stop being so down on yourself. So 11,000 people got killed including your entire family. So what? Chin up!

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Thursday, January 08, 2009

 

222nd post

Two hundred and twenty-two triple Wahoo Sam Crawford Yahoo! Google search rescue rangers Mounties mountains hills are alive living on the edge dangerously danger bomb flop pop bottle bottleneck traffic jam jelly and cottage cheese cottage villa vanilla ice cream you scream yell loud noise music to my ears aural oral mouth mouthwash liquid water wet ocean sea to shining sea anthem theme song TV show series serial cereal breakafast Belfast Ireland ire rage against the machine mechanical robot cyborg Borg Star Trek science fiction books reading literacy literal plain open field prairie dogs hunting dogs vicious cruel Cruella De Vil fur coats jackets cold weather winter snow snowman carrot eyes glasses cups in his cups drunk smashed broken fixed neutered neutral side dimension fourth dimension time flies by flying bird chicken roast oven hamburgers buns sesame seeds "Open Sesame!" Sesame Street neighborhood local low-cal low fat no oil oil burning the midnight oil midnight 0:00 111 two hundred and twenty-two.

TODAY'S BOOK: "When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?", by George Carlin ((c) 2005)

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Tuesday, January 06, 2009

 

Wet t-shirts!



Yeah, so I'm scraping the bottom of the gags barrel now. Deal with it.


TODAY'S BOOK: "Percy Jackson & the Olympians #1: The Lightning Thief", by Rick Riordan ((c) 2005)

YOUR HOROSCOPE FOR TODAY: Leo - wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka ; Aquarius - You poor fool. I won't even tell you what your horoscope says--after all, ignorance is bliss.

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Sunday, January 04, 2009

 

220th post

Time to cull my Links List. Seven sections, seven websites cut for one reason or another. But before they are lost in the mists of cyberspace, let's take a look back at how they were introduced:
"www.tv.com While not as user-friendly as I'd like, TV.com is nonetheless the place to go for up-to-date information on TV shows, present and (to some extent) past. Not much else one can say about it." (11th post, 10/25/06)
"www.pilkey.com Billed as 'Dav Pilkey's Extra-Crunchy Website o' Fun' and containing the disclaimer 'This website contains scenes and material which may be considered too silly for grown-ups, small animals, and many varieties of houseplants. If you are a grown-up, a small animal, or a houseplant, we strongly urge you to seek the permission of a kid before browsing this site!', this is the perfect place for any fan of the man who is possibly the most wildly and outrageously inventive children's author today to visit." (36th post, 2/15/07)
"www.guinnessworldrecords.com The world's best-selling copyrighted book is now available for your perusal online. Check out the world's fastest furniture, the longest full-body burn, the biggest flower ever found, and more!" (Speechless, 3/15/07)
"www.israelbaseballleague.com For the first time ever, my country will have a (semi-)professional baseball league, comprised of six teams with three playing fields and featuring players from around the globe, with Opening Day set for June 24-25th; I have tickets to the first game of my hometown Beit Shemesh Blue Sox, hosting the Netanya Tigers! This is a very professional-looking site, with player stats and bios, breaking news, and links to several players' Blogspot blogs, as well as MUCH else." (54th post, 5/11/07)
"www.snafu-comics.com Vinson Ngo (better known by his pen name, Bleedman) is absolutely the best webcomic creator/writer/artist I have ever seen. This site hosts three of his comics currently in production--the continuation of each alternates at long stretches, with him currently working on the one called 'Sugar Bits'. The other two are manga-esque spinoffs of The Powerpuff Girls and The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy containing clever cameos galore by cartoon characters both past and present (and it is a testimony to his skills that he can hold my interest in ANYTHING manga-esque). Also contains comics by other people, whatever rocks your boat. Warning: some graphic content. Keep out of reach of children." (60th post, 6/24/07)
"uncyclopedia.org 'Everything you know is wrong!' sang Weird Al Yankovic, and that's just what you'll be like if you rely on this by confusing it for the site it parodies, Wikipedia. Uncyclopedia is extraordinarily irreverent and tremendous good fun. One could literally spend hours mining its marvelously, gloriously insanely articles, newsflashes and factoids." ("Comfort Eagle", 5/14/08)
And since it apparently entered the list through osmosis or something, here's an entry for the last one: "www.rd.com Homepage of the venerable and enjoyable Reader's Digest magazine. Have fun!" (220th post, 1/5/09)

TODAY'S BOOK: "Knockdown", by Dick Francis ((c) 1974)

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Friday, January 02, 2009

 

"Here's to the crazy ones.


The misfits.

The rebels.

The troublemakers.

The round pegs in the square hole.

The ones who see things differently.

They’re not fond of rules.

And they have no respect for the status quo.

You can quote them,

disagree with them,

glorify

or vilify them.

About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them.

Because they change things.

They push the human race forward.

And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius.

Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world,

are the ones who do."


Best darn TV commercial ever.


TODAY'S BOOK: "Billy the Kid: The Endless Ride", by Micahel Wallis ((c) 2007)

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(12/18/08)