Sunday, February 25, 2007


How to be a decoy Rav Purim

Well, my class just held the traditional 12th Grade Coronation Ceremony, wherein the school's Purim Rabbi is crowned. The evening consisted of a play (that, to my utter surprise, failed to embarrass us) about the Rav Purim having been kidnapped, and the Esteemed Ukrainian Judge holds a trial to determine which of the four suspects Did It, helped along by the star witness, Sherlock Holmes, Jr.. Eventually eliminating the quartet (and constantly interrupted by hilarious commercials inserted into the proceedings via a pair of projectors and screens), Holmes Jr. concluded that the suilty party was in fact a member of the jury, who had napped the kid in order to get attention. While the play quickly turned into a high school musical, the offender went backstage to retrieve the stolen goods, which he did, dragging him by the front of the shirt and with a pillowcase over his head. At the critical moment of the song, with smoke billowing out of a smoke machine, the pillowcase was pulled off, and I shouted into the microphone, "I AM THE RAV PURIM!"
Quicker than it takes you to digest the clever sudden twist in my narrative (at least in theory, though in actuality the event was unconsciably delayed), shots rang out, and down I went; eventually I also went sideways, thanks to being loaded on a stretcher into an ambulance. After the ambulance pulled around the corner, I got out and raced back in time to witness the unveiling of the true Rav Purim--I was a decoy! But no matter, I got an all-time adrenalin high out of it.
Now, I know the question that's lurking on the tip your tongue (and if it isn't, it should be): What is actually so random about this post? The answer is... it happened on Thursday! Wakka wakka, peace out.

TODAY'S BOOK: "Freddy the Pilot", by Walter R. Brooks ((c) 1952)

TODAY'S MOVIE: "The Philadelphia Story", from MGM (1940)

WWWW2?: Stan Laurel.

TODAY'S WEBSITE: Don't let the rather unappealing layout fool you--this is a meticulously kept site devoted to telling the tales of all Jewish athletes from the wide world of sports, down to bullfighters and members of the All-American Girls Professional Baseball League.


Sunday, February 18, 2007


Story time - Part 3

"Terry Harkness awoke from his slumber when he heard a slight sktch from the direction of the hotel room's closet. The former CIA operative with hair-trigger senses waited, as was his habit in these matters, a full five seconds; then he heard the slight noise again. Triangulating it with his keen ears, he deduced that it was being made by a shoe on the linoleum. Amateur, Harkness thought instinctively, you should've worn tennis sneakers. Going to full-awareness mode immediately, a useful talent he'd learnt during his undercover days--" Oh, good grief.
What? Now what?? You were beginning to really smoke there!
But it's so--so dang--convenient! Before you know it, I'll be turning him into Superman without the flying abilities.
Superman has X-Ray vision and near-invulnerable skin, among many other attributes.
Oh hush up. This is just like your original plan to make him wake up due to bad vibes.
You wanna compromise again?
Fire away.
Keep him sleepy but have a gun handy.
OK, I guess I can deal with that.
"Automatically lunging for the gun he always kept nearby, a habit he'd acquired during his undercover days, Harkness spun and shot at the intruder while still trying to shake the cobwebs of slumber from his eyes."
'Cobwebs of slumber', eh? Nice.
Thank you. I figured you'd appreciate that. Anway:
"Unfortunately, the other man--he could see it was a man in the pale moonlight that filtered through the Venetian blinds of the window--was not as complete an amateur as he'd have preferred, and had begun moving evasively as soon as he'd realized that he'd blown his cover. Nonetheless, the bullet grazed his arm; but held in his other arm, Harkness beheld a lethal-looking--"
Have the other guy waving a big sword! I'm getting some fantastic imagery here!
And I'm getting a fantastic headache. You want the assailant to be a ninja, right?
Well, I--
No. Absolutely not. I absolutely refuse to bring ninjas into this moment of the story.
Aww, c'mon, man!
Does Ludlum have his heroes attacked by ninjas in the first chapter? I don't think so. And thanks to you, my train of thought has been derailed, so I'm cutting this whole thing off at the pass.
Until next time, this is MetFanMac, signing off!

TODAY'S BOOK: "A Room Made of Windows", by Eleanor Cameron ((c)1971)

TODAY'S MOVIE: "Sneakers", from Universal (1992)

WWWW2?: Christina Aguilera.

TODAY'S WEBSITE: This is the best site I've found yet that deals with a relatively obscure but personally much-loved cartoon, WB's Freakazoid. One of the best animated TV shows to air in the 90's, Freakazoid was a no-holds-barred gag parade, starring possibly the most insane superhero ever (and with an equally insane supporting cast of friends and villains).


Thursday, February 15, 2007


36th post

"I shall name him Squishy and he shall be mine and he shall be my Squishy."
The Wise Men of Chelm would be embarrassed by the way my pet hamsters act. (If I had pet hamsters, that is.)
I'm in bed sick with the dreaded dococcus.
Wakka wak wak wakka. Wakka wakka wakka. Wakka wakka wakka. Wakka wakka, wakka wakka. Wak? Wakka wak wakka wak wak. Wakka! Wak wakka.
Today I invented a Newer Math for implementation in Probability Studies, based on logic rather than boring old confusing equations. This may explain why I like geometry.
Chariots of Fire, Chariots of the Gods, what the heck's the difference anyway? One's about running, one's about aliens. I mean, they're pratically interchangeable. C'mon!
Once a Necromnicon, always a Necromnicon. That's what I told 'em, but would they listen? Nooo! They just kept on using it and never suspected what would happen to them later on--why, I hear one of them even became an insurance salesman!
And now, once again, for something completely different. With onions.

TODAY'S BOOK: "Man's Search for Meaning", by Victor E. Frankl ((c)1959)

TODAY'S MOVIE: "The Italian Job", from Paramount (2003)

WWWW2?: Clive Cussler.

TODAY'S WEBSITE: Billed as "Dav Pilkey's Extra-Crunchy Website o' Fun" and containing the disclaimer "This website contains scenes and material which may be considered too silly for grown-ups, small animals, and many varieties of houseplants. If you are a grown-up, a small animal, or a houseplant, we strongly urge you to seek the permission of a kid before browsing this site!", this is the perfect place for any fan of the man who is possibly the most wildly and outrageously inventive children's author today to visit.

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Tuesday, February 13, 2007


35th post

I am well and completely bushed. Shrubbed. Scrubbed. Clean. Wiped, wiped out. Exhausted. So all I'm gonna do here is post my just-finished black-and-white ink version of the picture that, G-d, willing, I shall color in and enter the latest fan art contest at G'night y'all.

TODAY'S BOOK: "The West End Horror", by Nicholas Meyer ((c)1976)

TODAY'S MOVIE: "The Wizard of Oz", from MGM (1939)

WWWW2?: Alfred Hitchcock.

TODAY'S WEBSITE: Everything you ever wanted to know about everything connected to the American Librarians' Association. Me, I use it to keep track of the Newbery and Caldecott award winners.


Thursday, February 08, 2007


34th post

As a matter of preference, we really must all stand on our heads, else our weight shall decrease the Earth's gravity.
Zingies Power!
Royal soccer players must use the entrance to the left unless they are on a boat, in which case naturally the proper course of action would be to either come out of the floor or, failing, that, to use the widdershins entrance.
Best enjoy life while you still can, because nothing impregnable lasts forever and the Titanic was sunk by a giant ice cube.
I think I may be going crazy. I saw a tree in my neighborhood where I have never noticed one before? Am I going mad? Is this to be the end for my precious sanity?
Boingy boingy boingy boingy!
Taters rule. Passamaquoddy beavers even more so.

TODAY'S BOOK: "Thundering Sneakers", by Prudence Mackintosh ((c) 1974)

TODAY'S MOVIE: "Toy Story 2", from Disney/Pixar (1999)

WWWW2?: Benjamin Franklin.

TODAY'S WEBSITE: Possibly the best place on the Web to visit for information on DC Comics' Teen Titans, the site also has a Blogspot blog, a section for the animated TV version that I love, and tons of original artwork commissioned from the pros themselves. Also included is a detailed list of the all-time roster of heroes, foes, and acquaintances who have appeared in the classic long-lasting series.


Friday, February 02, 2007


33rd post

Thirty-three thirtysomething TV show Law & Order FBI national security nonexistent state of non-being death taxes April Spring Training baseball hot dogs mustard yellow Yellow Submarine the Beatles Ringo Starr Wakko Warner Animaniacs the 90's decade decadent stinky smelly swamp bog log lump on a log lazy La-Z-Boy armchair sitting meeting Town Hall mayor leadership captain Captain Bligh mutiny treason execution guillotine the French cowards scaredy-cats felines lions and tigers zoo Central Park troll stupid low IQ retard I Am Sam Sam I am Green Eggs and Ham food nourishment narishkeit nonsense silly funny clowns laughing joke jokes and riddles puzzles mysteries Sherlock Holmes Dr. Watson medic sterile clean wash laundry clothes attire flat tire accident big accident war World War II Hitler 1933 thirty-three.

TODAY'S BOOK: "King of the Wind", by Marguerite Henry ((c) 1948)

TODAY'S MOVIE: "The Rescuers", from Disney (1977)

WWWW2?: Tonya Harding's bodyguard.

TODAY'S WEBSITE: Like YouTube except without the homemade videos (which is 99% of what YouTube is), Peekvid is the alternative for people looking for a site to watch movies and TV shows on without having to wade through all the chaff. Divided into 5 different categories, with many sub-categories within each one for each TV show/movie.


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