Saturday, October 09, 2010
FILTERS DO NOTHING
Adding insult to injury, the "report offensive images" option is usually pretty much useless, as the images tend to stick around, both on the screen and burned into the backs of your retinas.
On any given search, you are likely to find :
- Full frontal nudity
- Close-ups of genitalia
- Explicit coitus
- Explicit coitus involving a she-male for added mental trauma
- Child pornography
- Tentacle porn
- Oral sex
- A staggering variety of fetishes
- Two or more of the above at once
TODAY'S BOOK: "1776", by David McCullough ((c) 2005)
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Randomly reprinted post (XXIV)
Heave a supercharged battery into a live wire fire, watch what happens, and--here's the important part--don't blame me.
From flashes of lightning we go to rumbles of thunder, and I wish we didn't. I had a grand total of two (2) hours of sleep last night due to the sonic effects of G-d riffing on His bongo drums.
Seashells with thumbtack paste taste good with marinara sauce, Leastways, that's what I've heard. But you don't to take my word for it. Uh-uh.
You burn faggots. You're supposed to burn faggots as well. If you don't understand that (and you probably don't) consult a dictionary and a thesaurus.
If I could just combine all the stray cats in my neighborhood into one big cat, I could probably take over Indiana. If you want to join my revolutionarily random revolution while it's still in its pre-planning phase, dial 1-800-I-AM-AN-IDIOT. If someone answers, please hang up and whistle 'Dixie'.
TODAY'S BOOK: 'Fantastic Voyage', by Isaac Asimov ((c) 1966)
TODAY'S MOVIE: 'Air Force One', from Touchstone Pictures (1997)
WWWW2?: Tony Gwynn.
TODAY'S WEBSITE: http://www.doonesbury.com/ Rounding out the list of four comic strips I read daily, G.B. Trudeau's Doonesbury--now in its 35th year--has a website that, besides running the daily strip as a matter of course, also features asinine quotes (usually political), links to current news (usually political), and an admittedly meaningless straw poll (almost always political), as well as useful information on the strip itself and a collection of cartoons Trudeau drew at Yale before embarking on his current career."
--26th post, 12/27/06
Thursday, September 23, 2010
TODAY'S BOOK: "The Secret of Platform 13", by Eva Ibbotson ((c) 1994)
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Isaac Benjamin Davis?
Go to your room, young man.
TODAY'S BOOK: "Have You Seen Hyacinth Macaw?", by Patricia Reilly Giff ((c) 1981)
Monday, September 13, 2010
I'm in a video!
You can catch glimpses of me at 2:48-2:51 and 3:25-3:27 - that's 5 whole seconds of airtime! Wow!!
TODAY'S BOOK: "The Boy Who Saved Baseball", by John H. Ritter ((c) 2003)
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Today this person
found said post, ask me not exactly how--it's at times like this that I really, REALLY wish the Sitemeter was able to track Google Images search words--and, apparently being a moron of few words--albeit somewhat limited grammar--contented him/herself with saying:
The commenter, of course, was anonymous.
And I just have to laugh, I really do. Tell me, Brazilian Bozo, when was the last time a Nazi accomplished anything? I'll tell you: when your heroes reached the gates of Stalingrad.
That was your last hurrah, wasn't it, you Nazi scumbag? Once you lost the siege and couldn't solve the Britons and then the Americans landed, it was nothing but retreat, retreat, retreat. Then your glorious Fuhrer shot himself in his bunker and it was all over for you.
And every Nazi since then can only dream of accomplishing anything at all, much less genocide. Your absolute pinnacle of achievement is scrawling messages of hate on Jews' blogs.
And if you're not in fact a Nazi, then please in the name of all that is holy please explain to me what has made you so messed up that you read a post whose entire point is to denigrate Nazis, some of the vilest human beings of the 20th century, and the only thing--the only thing--you can focus on is that the writer is Jewish.
Well, hombre, let me reiterate my message to you--in a language I think you may understand better:
And that is positively all.
TODAY'S BOOK: "Stay Fit and Healthy Until You're Dead", by Dave Barry ((c) 1985)
Thursday, August 05, 2010
That there's my 130th cartoon drawn for The Jerusalem Post, submitted yesterday and slated to appear exclusively online. That's the twelfth of the thirty I drew since the last update in the 356th post to be seen by the general public (overall total: 67, or just a touch over half of the total).
Subjects of said 12 'toons break down as follows:
Radical Islam (2)
The Palestinian Authority
The Conversion Bill
The Israeli Comptroller's Report
Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (four times, once unpublished)
Israeli PM Binyamin Netanyahu (four times, thrice unpublished)
US President Barack Obama (twice)
Hizbullah leader Hassan Nasrallah (twice, once unpublished)
Syrian President Bashar Assad (once)
Hamas leader Ismail Haniyeh (once)
Ayatollah Ali Khamenei (once)
Uncle Sam (once)
Plus all of the following none of whom made it in:
Turkish PM Recep Tayyip Erdogan
Israeli Deputy Health Minister Yaakov Litzman
Israeli politico Moshe Feiglin
Bibi had the hardest fall, only appearing once out of four submissions (the most of anybody), leaving him at 22 overall. Obama made both his appearances count, and Ahmadenijad led the pack with three printings, putting him at a stunning 12-for-15 (80%) success rate historically. Startlingly missing completely is PA Chairman Mahmoud Abbas, who seems to have dropped off the news radar completely.
And now, the bonus you've all learned to look forward to: my favorite unpublished cartoon from this period!
It's a no-brainer, really--the only cartoon I ever literally begged the Post to print, and they wouldn't. I already featured it on The Eighth Day, and here it is again. Soak up the bitterness!
TODAY'S BOOK: "The City of Ember", by Jeanne DuPrau ((c) 2003)
Friday, July 23, 2010
TODAY'S BOOK: "Well, Duh!: Our Stupid World, and Welcome to It", by Bob Fenster ((c) 2004)
Labels: bait 'n' switch
Monday, July 12, 2010
Another milestone comes and passes...
TODAY'S BOOK: "East is East", by George Mikes ((c) 1958)
Monday, July 05, 2010
Without further ado, here is the only footage I can find from it--the movie's sole song (except for the one during the credits), "Percy's Perfect Purple Pickled Pelican Pellets":
It's quite obvious the animators were heavily influenced by "Pink Elephants on Parade" from Dumbo. To quote from one of only two reviews for this film on Amazon.com, this song "will rob you of your sanity". So you can thank me once they take you away (ho ho, hee hee, ha ha) to the funny farm!
TODAY'S BOOK: "The Dosadi Experiment", by Frank Herbert ((c) 1977)