Wednesday, December 27, 2006


26th post

Post-it posted on a Post cereal box. Postopia, a state one enters post-operation.
Heave a supercharged battery into a live wire fire, watch what happens, and--here's the important part--don't blame me.
From flashes of lightning we go to rumbles of thunder, and I wish we didn't. I had a grand total of two (2) hours of sleep last night due to the sonic effects of G-d riffing on His bongo drums.
Seashells with thumbtack paste taste good with marinara sauce, Leastways, that's what I've heard. But you don't to take my word for it. Uh-uh.
You burn faggots. You're supposed to burn faggots as well. If you don't understand that (and you probably don't) consult a dictionary and a thesaurus.
If I could just combine all the stray cats in my neighborhood into one big cat, I could probably take over Indiana. If you want to join my revolutionarily random revolution while it's still in its pre-planning phase, dial 1-800-I-AM-AN-IDIOT. If someone answers, please hang up and whistle "Dixie".

TODAY'S BOOK: "Fantastic Voyage", by Isaac Asimov ((c) 1966)

TODAY'S MOVIE: "Air Force One", from Touchstone Pictures (1997)

WWWW2?: Tony Gwynn.

TODAY'S WEBSITE: Rounding out the list of four comic strips I read daily, G.B. Trudeau's Doonesbury--now in its 35th year--has a website that, besides running the daily strip as a matter of course, also features asinine quotes (usually political), links to current news (usually political), and an admittedly meaningless straw poll (almost always political), as well as useful information on the strip itself and a collection of cartoons Trudeau drew at Yale before embarking on his current career.


Sunday, December 17, 2006


25th post

Happy Hanukkah! Why didn't I say this on the first night? Because that would be making too much sense, that's why. This way is much more random.
Zipping zephyrs. Biscuits.
Help! Help! The SS Character is being hijacked by the village idiot!
Wakka? Wakka wakka wakka. Wakka wakka, wakka wak. Wakka? Wak wak wakka wak...
Who needs "Use the Force, Luke" when you have "Attempting the hell to communicate"?
Upside-down things may sometimes be downside-up. It all depends on how you look at them.
And give my regards to Harold Square.

TODAY'S BOOK: "To Kill a Mockingbird", by Harper Lee ((c) 1960)

TODAY'S MOVIE: "Monsters, Inc.", from Disney/Pixar (2001)

WWWW2?: Fred Flintstone.

TODAY'S WEBSITE: One of my all-time favorite TV shows, Teen Titans, was cancelled last year--but this fansite is still going strong. Containing transcripts, screenshots, and summaries of every episode, as well as bios, merchandising information, and showtimes--and even more--this is probably the #1 website for fans of the series (known affectionately as "TT") to hang around in. Look for me in the forums under the screen-name "The Wakka Man", especially as a regular contributor to my favorite thread, "Random Facts!"

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Monday, December 11, 2006


"The Llama Song"

Forget everything I've said before. "The Llama Song" is the most random thing I've heard in my life--funny, original, and catchy. But especially RANDOM!

"Here's a llama/There's a llama/And another little llama/Fuzzy llama/Funny llama/Llama llama/Duck
Llama llama/Cheesecake/Llama/Tablet/Brick/Potato/Llama/Llama llama/Mushroom/Llama/Llama llama/Duck
I was once a treehouse/I lived in a cake/But I never saw the way/The orange slayed the rake/I was only three years dead/But it told a tale/And now listen, little child/To the safety rail
Did you ever see a llama/Kiss a llama/On the llama/Llama's llama/Tastes of llama/Llama llama/Duck
Half a llama/Twice the llama/Not a llama/Farmer/Llama/Llama in a car/Alarm a llama/Llama/Duck
Is this how it's told now?/Is it all so old?/Is it made of lemon juice?/Doorknob/Ankle/Cold/Now my song is getting thin/I've run out of luck/Time for me to retire now/And become a duck"

TODAY'S BOOK: "Jesse James: Last Rebel of the Civil War", by T.J. Stiles ((c) 2002)

TODAY'S MOVIE: "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory", from Warner Bros. (1971)

WWWW2?: Henry Ford.

TODAY'S WEBSITE: This is run by one of the most beloved and successful children's authors on the planet--Joanne Kathleen "J.K." Rowling of "Harry Potter" fame. Occasionally updated with diary entries, the site also contains links to other fansites, a Wizard of the Month section, and debunked rumors, among other stuff.


Tuesday, December 05, 2006


23rd post

Further on my favorite uniform number, 32: Mets With This Number. Most famously belonging to southpaw Jon Matlack (1972--77), it also clad Jack Hamilton (1966--67); Hal Reniff (1967); Dean Chance (1970); Tom Hausman (1978--82); Carlos Diaz (1982--83); Dick Tidrow (1984); Rick Anderson (1986); Tom Edens (1987); Mark Carreon (1987--89); Bill Pecota (1992); Pete Smith (1994); Paul Wilson (1996); Mike Hampton (2000); Brent Hinchliffe (2001); Bruce Chen (2001--2002); Mike Stanton (2003--2004); Danny Graves (2005); and Jeremi Gonzalez, Eli Marrero, and Dave Williams (2006)*.
We had another shockwave/soundblast experience yesterday. If this keeps happening I may start selling tickets. Then again, it may be a case of lightning striking twice in a bottle. Speaking of which, I saw my first bolt of lightning about a month ago. Then I saw a whole slew of them during an electrical storm. Which goes to show that too much of a good thing is something or other whatever.
Wakka wakka. Wakka wakka, wakka wakka. Wak wak. Wakka. Wakka! Wakka wak wakka wak wakka, wakka wakka?
This certainly is a motley crew of limp biscuits piloting a lead zeppelin with a deaf leopard as a mascot, and they are armed with... uh, never mind.

* - Williams made another appearance wearing 32 in 2007. Carlos Muniz inherited the Jersey in 2008.

TODAY'S BOOK: "The Education of Hyman Kaplan", by Leonard Q. Ross ((c) 1937)

TODAY'S MOVIE: "Spirited Away", from Studio Ghibli (2001)

WWWW2?: Harry Houdini.

TODAY'S WEBSITE: One of the greatest sports magazines runs one of the greatest sports websites--it's Sports Illustrated, of course. With its fingers on the pulse of every single international sport and containing an archive to past articles by its top-notch authors, this is one of those sites you'll wonder how you ever managed to get along without.

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Friday, December 01, 2006


Some Musings on Natural Phenomenae (and One Earnest Hoax)

A couple of years ago, I was sitting at my desk during recess when the floor began to vibrate; after two full seconds, I came to the only logical conclusion: EARTHQUAKE! Sure enough, the Afro-Syrian Rift was making its move, whilst I made mine to within the room's reinforced-steel doorway, under the fatal belief that death was nigh. (My friends, who were having none of this, deemed it "cool" to jump up and down on the shaking floor.) Very soon, the earth ceased its trembling, and the entire school population was hustled out to a nearby soccer field by the teachers for two hours before the building was deemed safe to re-enter, which I did with the firm conviction that I would never move to California.
Yesterday, history seemed to begin to repeat itself: in the middle of class, the floor began to vibrate; after two full seconds, I was debating whether to scream to my oblivious classmates or faint. Just then, it stopped--followed a second later by a tremendous BOOM that shook the whole room. Rushing to the window, we discerned an enormous cloud of dust rising from a nearby mountain; it was merely construction workers dynamiting their way to a new road.
Then lightning struck a nearby tree. Except that last part was just a lie.

TODAY'S BOOK: "A Nun in the Closet", by Dorothy Gilman ((c) 1975)

TODAY'S MOVIE: "Holes", from Disney (2003)

WWWW2?: The Wizard of Oz.

TODAY'S WEBSITE: "Animaniacs" was one of the funniest cartoons ever aired--and it featured some of the most inventive songs on TV. Some humorous, some educational, all good, this site provides you with each and every rollicking lyric sung in the series.

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