Friday, July 18, 2008

 

148th post

Yawn... wstfgl... What time 's it? 3:00 AM... huh.
Boy I'm thirsty.
Yawn...
*pad pad pad pad*
Turnin' handle...
*sklrtch*
Huh? Wha's going on here? Th' cup's only half full. C'mon, you stupid faucet. *tug tug tu--*
GLOOSH!
Whoa! Hey! Oh, yuck, what is this stuff??? And--*sniff*--YEESH! What in the name of Marv Throneberry is that godawful smell?
BANG!
"Menachem Jerenberg?"
"Uh..."
"Menachem G. 'Mac' Jerenberg, of Nahal Dolev 46, Ramat Beit Shemesh?"
"Yeah, yeah, that's me. Who're you? What the heck's going on here?"
"This is the press. Sir, at 3:01 AM this morning, you, Menachem G. Jerenberg, used up the very last drop of water in the Kinneret."
"What!!"
"The pipes have gone dry. The salination plants are all busted. There's pandemonium in the streets. And all because you took the last drop."
"Oh my God!"
"Outta the way, Marty, it's my turn. You there, young man, what do you have to say for yourself?"
"Uh..."
"Remember the whole world is watching."
"Yaagh! It's wasn't me! I swear it!"
"What's going on in there??"
"Sir, your son just personally emptied the Kinneret."
"You gotta be kidding me."
"Scout's honor. Can you give me a quote?"
"Um, 'in this hour of need--'"
"Good enough. Hey, Al, you want a crack at him?"
"Sure, thanks. So kid, what made you do it? Drugs? Alcohol? General debilitative depravity?"
"Aaaaarghh!!!!"...
.
*pant pant* It was only a nightmare. Phew. Only a nightmare...
*knock knock knock*
Eep! "Y-yes?"
"You okay in there? Only I heard you screaming a little."
"No, I'm fine, Mom. Say... do we have any bottled water handy? I'm thirsty."

TODAY'S BOOK: "Obadiah Comes Fourteen", by Elizabeth Spring ((c) 1976)

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A girl from Berkshire, England, has been convicted of drunk driving and, at 12, she’s the youngest on record with that conviction in the country. Police measured her blood alcohol level at .065 percent against a legal limit of .035 — for adults. Her name was not released to newspapers. (London Guardian) ...Since that has proven not to be a deterrent.
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