"You're not my friends. I'm your babysitter."
"It was a very scary sock puppet!"
"My only regret is that I couldn't give your father a son."
"I... DON'T... HURT... KIDS!"
"You up and infected him with Stupid."
"You see what this is? This a Stupid Detector. And it's working."
"I throw the fight, we split it?"
"Pants, then a pay phone. Pay phone is optional."
"Love this country."
"Then the redneck trucker gave me free pants."
"Now you show me this."
"...Are you trying to win me over? Because you kind of suck at it."
"Did the shadowy genius mastermind behind the world's greatest heroes just fail to recruit a sixteen-year-old boy?"
"There's something wrong with you."
"Not only is that not the weirdest story the government guy heard, it's not even the weirdest story in El Paso County."
"What do you mean we won't damage nature? Nature's about to damage me!"
"Did he just say 'lollygagging'?"
"What's a ruffian?"
"Okay, fine. If I'm woven into... something, that would be good to discern. Go ahead and discern."
"No, you don't understand. I'm not crazy. I just hear voices in my head!"
"I'm not letting anybody hurt a baby."
"Good, nice, panic the bad guy."
"Oh, right, I still suck at fighting."

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