Naturally, no song can compete with the sheer randomness of "The Llama Song" (featured earlier in this blog under a post of the same name), but some come pretty close. A shining example is Weird Al Yankovic's "Everything You Know is Wrong" (Hysterically well-made screenshot AMV at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EGC09B810Yk), a veritable exercise in free-association lyrics. Just ICYDK, Weird Al's "Your Horoscope For Today" has also been featured here, which both showcases his tendency toward randomness and helps explain why he is one of my favorite singers. But I digress:

"I was driving on the freeway in the fast lane/With a rabid wolverine in my underwear/When suddenly a guy behind me in the back seat/Popped right up and cupped his hands across my eyes
I guessed, 'Is it Uncle Frank or Cousin Louie?/'Is it Bob or Joe or Walter?/'Could it be Bill or Jim or Ed or Bernie or Steve?'/I probably would have kept on guessing/But about that time we crashed into the truck
And as I'm laying bleeding there on the asphalt/Finally I recognize the face of my hibachi dealer/Who takes off his prosthetic lips and tells me

Everything you know is wrong/Black is white, up is down and short is long/And everything you thought was just so important doesn't matter/Everything you know is wrong/Just forget the words and sing along/All you need to understand is/Everything you know is wrong

I was walkin' to the kitchen for some Golden Grahams/When I accidentally stepped into an alternate dimension/And soon I was abducted by some aliens from space/Who kinda looked like Jamie Farr
They sucked out my internal organs/And they took some Polaroids/And said I was a darn good sport/And as a way of saying thank you/They offered to transport me back to any point in history that I would care to go
And so I had them send me back to last Thursday night so I could pay my phone bill on time/Just then the floating disembodied head of Colonel Sanders started yelling

Everything you know is wrong/Black is white, up is down and short is long/And everything you thought was just so important doesn't matter/Everything you know is wrong/Just forget the words and sing along/All you need to understand is/Everything you know is wrong

I was just about to mail a letter to my evil twin/When I got a nasty paper cut/And, well, to make a long story short/It got infected and I died
So now I'm up in heaven with St. Peter by the Pearly Gates/And it's obvious he doesn't like the Nehru jacket that I'm wearing/He tells me that they've got a dress code
Well, he lets me into heaven anyway/But I get the room next to the noisy ice machine for all eternity/And every day he runs by screaming

Everything you know is wrong/Black is white, up is down and short is long/And everything you used to think was so important/Doesn't really matter anymore/Because the simple fact remains that/Everything you know is wrong/Just forget the words and sing along/All you need to understand is/Everything you know is wrong/Everything you know is wrong"


TODAY'S BOOK: "Lost Horizon", by James Hilton ((c) 1933)

Labels: song