Now, just because I rank my authors in a certain order doesn't mean I rank their output the same way. Let's review, shall we?

RANKING THE HARRY POTTER BOOKS:
1. Prisoner of Azkaban
2. (tie) Deathly Hallows & Goblet of Fire
3. (tie) Half-Blood Prince & Philosopher's Stone
4. Order of the Phoenix
5. Chamber of Secrets

TOP 15 DISCWORLD BOOKS:
1. Night Watch
2. Feet of Clay
3. Hogfather
4. Interesting Times
5. The Last Hero
6. Witches Abroad
7. (tie) Jingo & Thief of Time
8. Maskerade
9. Lords and Ladies
10. The Fifth Elephant
11. (tie) Carpe Jugulum & Guards! Guards!
12. Men at Arms
13. The Light Fantastic

RANKING DAN BROWN'S ENTIRE LITERARY OUTPUT:
1. The Da Vinci Code
2. Digital Fortress
3. Angels and Demons
4. Deception Point

INCOMPLETE AND NON-DEFINITIVE LIST OF FAVORITE BOOKS AND SERIES:
63. The Mrs. Pollifax series
62. "The Lost World"
61. [Most of the rest of Ludlum's books]
60. "Timeline"
59. "South by Java Head"
58. "Things Not Seen"
57. "Valahalla Rising"
56. The Oregon Files series
55. "The Supernaturalist"
54. "The Landry News"
53. "Goodbye, California"
52. "Math Curse"
51. "Who is Bugs Potter?"
50. "Frindle"
49. "The Road to Omaha"
48. "Breakheart Pass"
47. "A Semester in the Life of a Garbage Bag"
46. "San Andreas"
45. [Bill Cosby's first four books]
44. "The Giver"
43. "Ice Station Zebra"
42. "The Wish List"
41. "Through the Looking Glass"
40. "Alice in Wonderland"
39. "Little Men"
38. "Sahara"
37. "Break In"
36. "Emil and the Detectives"
35. "The Magic Pudding"
34. The Sideways Stories From Wayside School series
33. "Jurassic Park"
32. "The Toilet Paper Tigers"
31. "Nemesis"
30. The James Herriot books
29. "A Short History of Nearly Everything"
28. "Nerve"
27. "Banker"
26. "The Pushcart War"
25. "Longshot"
24. The Oz series
23. "I, Robot"
22. The Pippi Longstocking series
21. "Come to Grief"
20. The Artemis Fowl series
19. The Dr. Dolittle series
18. "The Hound of the Baskervilles"
17. "The Westing Game"
16. "Cheaper by the Dozen"
15. "The Wolves in the Walls"
14. "The Flying Classroom"
13. "A Short History of Nearly Everything"
12. "The Summer Game"
11. "Holes"
10. "I'm a Stranger Here Myself"
9. The Bruno & Boots series
8. The Bourne trilogy
7. "Maniac Magee"
6. Slapshots #1: "The Stars From Mars"
5. "Baseball: An Illustrated History"
4. The Discworld series
3. "The Da Vinci Code"
2. "The Phantom Tollbooth"
1. The Harry Potter series

Labels: lists lists lists

As Tevet enters the homestretch, it's time to bring a new theme into the lists. Here there be Books!

MY FAVORITE AUTHORS:
27. E.L. Konigsburg
26. James Thurber
25. Erich Kastner
24. Dr. Seuss
23. L. Frank Baum
22. Beverly Cleary
21. Erma Bombeck
20. Michael Crichton
19. Frederick Forsyth
18. Dorothy Gilman
17. James Herriot
16. O. Henry
15. Eoin Colfer
14. Hugh Lofting
13. Isaac Asimov
12. Bill Cosby
11. A. Conan Doyle
10. Louis Sachar
9. Clive Cussler
8. Alistair MacLean
7. Roger Angell
6. Bill Bryson
5. Dick Francis
4. Gordon Korman
3. J.K. Rowling
2. Terry Pratchett
1. (tie) Dan Brown & Robert Ludlum


TODAY'S BOOK: "Miracles on Maple Hill", by Virginia Sorensen ((c) 1956)

Labels: lists lists lists

From the Best we enter the Worst! Here are the absolute biggest wastes of time I have ever seen.

WORST ANIMATED MOVIES:
1. The Hunchback of Notre Dame II [DTV]
2. Pocahontas II [DTV]
3. Pokémon: The First Movie
4. Thumbelina
5. Atlantis 2 [DTV]
6. We're Back! A Dinosaur's Story
7. Cinderella II [DTV]
8. Aloha, Scooby-Doo [DTV]
9. Chicken Run
10. 101 Dalmatians II [DTV]
11. A Troll in Central Park
12. All Dogs Go to Heaven
13. FernGully: The Last Rainforest

BOTTOM 10 NON-THEATRICAL MOVIES:
1. The Hunchback of Notre Dame II [DTV]
2. Pocahontas II [DTV]
3. Atlantis 2 [DTV]
4. Home Alone 4 [TVM]
5. Cinderella II [DTV]
6. Aloha, Scooby-Doo [DTV]
7. 101 Dalmatians II [DTV]
8. (tie) An American Tail III [DTV] & The Return of Jafar [DTV]
9. Stitch! The Movie [DTV]

INTEGRATED LIST OF REALLY SUCKY MOVIES:
1. The Hunchback of Notre Dame II [DTV]
2. Pocahontas II [DTV]
3. Pokémon: The First Movie
4. Thumbelina
5. Atlantis 2 [DTV]
6. (tie) Black Knight & Home Alone 4 [TVM]
7. We're Back! A Dinosaur's Story
8. Cinderella II [DTV]
9. Mousehunt
10. Yentl
11. The Little Rascals
12. The Truman Show
13. Aloha, Scooby-Doo [DTV]
14. Chicken Run
15. The Perfect Storm
16. 101 Dalmatians II [DTV]
17. (tie) The NeverEnding Story & A Troll in Central Park
18. Agent Cody Banks 2
19. Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
20. (tie) Charlie and the Chocolate Factory & The Pink Panther
21. All Dogs Go to Heaven
22. The Kid
23. FernGully: The Last Rainforest
24. Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith
25. The Black Cauldron
26. Rock-A-Doodle
27. Kiki's Delivery Service
28. Stuart Little 2
29. (tie) An American Tail III [DTV] & The Return of Jafar [DTV]
30. Stitch! The Movie [DTV]
31. Shrek the Third
32. Pete's Dragon


TODAY'S BOOK: "Earth to Matthew", by Paula Danziger ((c) 1991)

Labels: lists lists lists

Labels: cartoon

Wrapping up, here is my aggregate list of favorite movies:

90. Toy Story 2
89. The Land Before Time IV [DTV]
88. The Bridge on the River Kwai
87. Spirited Away
86. The Karate Kid, Part II
85. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
84. Ice Age 2
83. Gulliver's Travels
82. DuckTales: The Movie
81. (tie) The Guns of Navarone & The Rookie
80. Spirit: Stallion of the Cimmaron
79. Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory
78. A Bug's Life
77. The Brave Little Toaster Goes to Mars [DTV]
76. A League of Their Own
75. National Treasure
74. Fiddler on the Roof
73. A Night at the Opera
72. An American Tail
71. Snoopy Come Home
70. Pocahontas
69. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
68. The Great Muppet Caper
67. Over the Hedge
66. Aladdin and the King of Thieves [DTV]
65. WarGames
64. Back to the Future
63. Star Trek III
62. Batman Begins
61. (tie) Peter Pan & The Princess Bride
60. The New Adventures of Little Toot [DTV]
59. Homeward Bound II
58. The Sound of Music
57. The Adventures of Robin Hood
56. Erin Brockovich
55. Justin Case [TVM]
54. The Prince of Egypt
53. Who Done It?
52. Frequency
51. Annie [TVM]
50. (tie) Fantasia/2000 & Star Wars: Return of the Jedi
49. Holes
48. Sneakers
47. Indiana Jones: Raiders of the Lost Ark
46. Buzz Lightyear of Star Command: The Adventure Begins [DTV]
45. Cinderella
44. Fever Pitch
43. Star Trek II
42. Pirates of the Caribbean
41. Balto
40. (tie) The Italian Job & Ocean's Eleven
39. Cars
38. The Jungle Book
37. The Philadelphia Story
36. Tarzan
35. Angels in the Outfield
34. Hercules
33. Toy Story
32. Die Hard
31. 12 Angry Men
30. Ice Age
29. Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
28. Treasure Planet
27. The Karate Kid
26. Dumbo
25. Pinocchio
24. Alice in Wonderland
23. Mary Poppins
22. The Wizard of Oz
21. Fantasia
20. Bambi
19. Star Trek IV
18. Flushed Away
17. The Rescuers Down Under
16. Space Jam
15. Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas
14. Wallace & Gromit in The Curse of the Were-Rabbit
13. Charlotte's Web
12. Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back
11. Robin Hood
10. Mulan
9. E.T.
8. Monsters, Inc.
7. The Emperor's New Groove
6. The Incredibles
5. Aladdin
4. The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (Abridged) [TVM]
3. Star Wars: A New Hope
2. Finding Nemo
1. (tie) Beauty and the Beast & The Lion King

[DTV]=Direct to Video [TVM]=TV Movie


TODAY'S BOOK: "A Year Down Yonder", by Richard Peck ((c) 2000)

Labels: lists lists lists

Today, after one year, two months and fifteen days of blogging, Giant Boogers from Outer Space has gotten its one thousandth hit--me, the author, of course. Some guy from Chile tried to capture the honor, but he came up three short.
I would estimate that I've been responsible for between one-half and one-third of all hits on this blog so far; I would also estimate that about 99% of the hits stay here for a recorded total of 1 second each, which would explain why my blog has a "staying power" on the average of 17 seconds per hit.
Not counting spam, twenty-two comments have been posted here (for an average of one every three point nine oh nine oh nine oh nine etc. posts, not yet counting this one), led with six by me, five by Eric (but all since the Random Grapefruit, which comes out to nine months and a bit), five by Bernardo (including four on just one post), and six by various others (including my friend Ra'anan Rosenbaum, who has the honor of being GBFOS's First Commenter).
Along the way, I got published in a newspaper, was a decoy Rav Purim, won my first art contest, got exempted from the draft, graduated, had two people who were close to me die, got a job, witnessed two consecutive painful collapses by my favorite team, and dislocated my shoulder.
On to the next thousand!

TODAY'S BOOK: "Travel Team", by Mike Lupica ((c) 2004)

Labels: the blog

Today, I bring you lists of (Mostly) Non-Animated Movies!

FAVORITE NON-ANIMATED MOVIES:
27. Homeward Bound II
26. The Sound of Music
25. The Adventures of Robin Hood
24. Erin Brockovich
23. Justin Case [TVM]
22. Who Done It?
21. Frequency
20. Annie [TVM]
19. Star Wars: Return of the Jedi
18. Holes
17. Sneakers
16. Indiana Jones: Raiders of the Lost Ark
15. Fever Pitch
14. Star Trek II
13. Pirates of the Caribbean
12. (tie) The Italian Job & Ocean's Eleven
11. The Philadelphia Story
10. Angels in the Outfield
9. Die Hard
8. 12 Angry Men
7. The Karate Kid
6. Mary Poppins
5. The Wizard of Oz
4. Star Trek IV
3. Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back
2. The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (Abridged) [TVM]
1. Star Wars: A New Hope

TOP 8 NON-THEATRICAL MOVIES:
8. The Land Before Time IV [DTV]
7. The Brave Little Toaster Goes to Mars [DTV]
6. Aladdin and the King of Thieves [DTV]
5. The New Adventures of Little Toot [DTV]
4. Justin Case [TVM]
3. Annie [TVM]
2. Buzz Lightyear of Star Command: The Adventure Begins [DTV]
1. The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (Abridged) [TVM]

RANKING THE STAR WARS MOVIES:
1. A New Hope
2. The Empire Strikes Back
3. Return of the Jedi
4. The Phantom Menace
5. The Clone Wars
6. Revenge of the Sith

BONUS LIST: LOCATIONS OF VISITORS TO THIS BLOG OVER THE PAST TWO WEEKS
1. America (including ten by Eric and one from Hawaii)
2. Israel (nine, all by me)
3. Brazil (three times!)
4. Australia
5. Germany
6. Italy
7. Japan
8. Netherlands
9. Slovakia
10. United Kingdom


TODAY'S BOOK: "The Great Train Robbery", by Michael Crichton ((c) 1975)

Labels: lists lists lists

Heigh ho, it's Tevet and of course if it's Tevet then it must be List Month which I did not celebrate last years for various reasons, all of them shrouded in obscurity. (Or I'm just bull*******g you. Take your pick.) Today's lists: Best Animated Movies!!

FAVORITE ANIMATED MOVIES:
25. Tarzan
24. Hercules
23. Toy Story
22. Ice Age
21. Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
20. Treasure Planet
19. Dumbo
18. Pinocchio
17. Alice in Wonderland
16. Fantasia
15. Bambi
14. Flushed Away
13. The Rescuers Down Under
12. Space Jam
11. Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas
10. Wallace & Gromit in The Curse of the Were-Rabbit
9. Charlotte's Web
8. Robin Hood
7. Mulan
6. Monsters, Inc.
5. The Emperor's New Groove
4. The Incredibles
3. Aladdin
2. Finding Nemo
1. (tie) Beauty and the Beast & The Lion King

TOP 10 DISNEY MOVIES:
1. (tie) Beauty and the Beast & The Lion King
2. Aladdin
3. The Emperor's New Groove
4. Mulan
5. Robin Hood
6. The Rescuers Down Under
7. Bambi
8. Fantasia
9. Alice in Wonderland

RANKING PIXAR'S MOVIES:
1. Finding Nemo
2. The Incredibles
3. Monsters, Inc.
4. Toy Story
5. Cars
6. Toy Story 2
7. A Bug's Life


TODAY'S BOOK: "Magic Kingdom for Sale--Sold!", by Terry Brooks ((c) 1986)

Labels: lists lists lists

ME: I wonder if I should try balancing on this bannister.
MY BROTHER: That's not a good idea.
I: Yeah. [cackles]
HIM: 'Cause if you, like, land on one of those wooden beams down there, that'd be kinda bad.
I: Uh-huh.
H: Yeah, you could probably get half-paralyzed like that if you land on your back.
I: Half-paralyzed, eh? I could probably live with that.
H: Oh, sure, what, you wouldn't be able to run anymore or use your feet or nothin'.
I: I could live with it.
H: Or you could be paralyzed up to the arms.
I: OK.
H: Or even up to your neck. All you can do is blink an' stuff.
I: Hey, you said half paralyzed, right? Half. That's what I'm talking about.
H: Hnh.
I: Well, gimme a break, I'm only gonna be half-paralyzed, what we're talkin' about here!
H: An' you can't go runnin' or walking around and stuff, all the things with the feet.
I: Just so long as I've got my hands, I'm happy. Being able to draw an' stuff. No runnin', okay.
H: And then you can't even do anything by yourself, okay, you've even gotta have somebody help ya in the bathroom.
I: No they don't.
H: Yuh-huh!
I: Nuh-huh! You been inside a, a disabled people's bathroom, right?
H: Yeah.
I: So you should be able to realize that the whole point of it is that a disabled guy can use it by himself. That's how it's built.
H: Sure, sure. You know what?
I: What?
H: If you got paralyzed and got to be in a wheelchair and everything, you'd hafta get a dog, too!
I: Pfft...
H: Yeah! They use dogs for that. I saw so. Ha ha!
I: Could use a cat to help me.
H: Yeah, right.
I: Listen, I'd rather have a tiger than a chihuahua..
H: Ha!!
I: What?
H: A tiger!
I: Well whaddaya want, you said cat, I'm sayin' cat!
H: You'd rather have a tiger than a chihuahua? You gonna be pulled around by a tiger, people ain't gonna wanna get near you, they see you coming an' they go 'Aaah!' and go runnin' away.
I: Fine.
H: How ya gonna work like that, huh?
I: I could work from home.
H: Sure, sure, work from home.
I: What? People do it all the time.
H: You stay home all the time, you won't need a tiger or a dog or nothing.
I: Fine, then, that's settled. No need for a chihuahua.

TODAY'S BOOK: "The Pursuit of Happyness", by Chris Gardner with Quincy Troupe and Mim Eichler Rivas ((c) 2006)

Labels: random

Wonder of wonders
Irony of ironies
Usually I only take Bus 416 from school
But today, in a prelude to more irony,
I took it back from the library too!

When Glavine leaves the Mets to return to the Braves,
That is an irony;
When Arabs say Annapolis shafted them,
That is an irony too.

But of all the ironies large and small
The most ironic of them all
Is the woman passenger on the 416
Who asked if we had reached her stop yet long after we'd passed it and I don't care if this line doesn't rhyme and is too long ha ha 'cause I'm random


TODAY'S BOOK: "The Adventures of Holly Hobbie", by Richard Dubelman ((c) 1980)

Labels: parody