"My scanner is broken. There is a peacock head in my bed. The shells have oysters in them. I am writing this by telepathy.
I am the eggman. They are the eggmen.
LOUD NOISES!
If by any chance you have now been or ever were changed into a giant cockroach, call 1-800-KAFKA now.
Is it 'better safe than pregnant' or 'better late than pregnant'? Oh well, they're both funny.
:-) :-( :-P :-/ :-D I've also seen how to draw a hand with a raised middle finger like this, but don't remember quite how. Lucky you.
If you start to drink prune juice and you keep drinking and drinking and drinking and drinking and drinking and drinking and drinking until you all of a sudden feel an overpowering urge to go to the bathroom, stop drinking.

TODAY'S BOOK: 'David Letterman: On Stage and Off', by Rosemarie Lennon ((c) 1994)

TODAY'S MOVIE: 'The Jungle Book', from Disney (1967)

WHO WON WORLD WAR II?: John Candy.

TODAY'S WEBSITE: en.wikipedia.org Having recently celebrated its 1,500,000th entry, what is possibly the most useful online encyclopedia is still going strong. My personal favorite uses of it are looking up comic books and old movies. The good news: anybody can edit an entry. The bad news: anybody can edit an entry."
--21st post, 11/27/06

Labels: reprint

This is a dictionarized post. Every word you see here has been linked to its definition from an online dictionary. So what shall we talk about? I know! Let us speak of cabbages and kings; why the sea's boiling hot; whether wigs have pings; etc. Or perhaps not. How about some homonymous homonyms (what you think = wrong) like allowed & aloud!
Gets old fast, huh? Agreement at hand.

TODAY'S BOOK: "Shoeless Joe", by W.P. Kinsella ((c) 1982)

Labels: random

Labels: biographical, cartoon

Carlos Muniz, currently in the Mets' Spring Training camp at Port St. Lucie, is an outside contender (midnight-pitch black horse, really) for the Opening Day bullpen. Should he somehow make it in, he would do so wearing number 32, thus becoming the Mets' 24th 32-wearer. (Trivia: as of this writing, Muniz is the 821st most popular look-up on the UMDb out of 821 players.)
An ESPN.com article cites #32 as "the most anonymous retired number among the four pro sports leagues"--Jim Umbricht, an Original Astro (or Colt .45), who died of cancer in '64. Another one calls it the most "scientifically" greatest uniform number, citing the sheer talent of past bearers.
Last year, #32 showed up on the backs of MLB players Erick Aybar, Jamie Walker, J.C. Romero, Bobby Kielty, Daryle Ward, LaTroy Hawkins, Virgil Vasquez, Brian Buscher, Shawn Chacon, Chris Young, Kevin Correia, Ron Mahay, Luis Mendoza, Shawn Riggans, Roy Halladay, and Chad Cordero. Meanwhile, Shaquille O'Neal continues to wear #32 in the NBA. These are all the 32s that I know reliably are playing currently.
Three "notable" 32s I have not mentioned previously but are cited by other sources are Bill Walton of the Portland Trail Blazers (NBA), Jack Tatum of the Oakland Raiders (NFL), and Julius Hodge while on the Denver Nuggets (NBA). Besides Koufax, Carlton and Umbricht, the only 32 retired by an MLB club is that of longtime Yankee coach Elston Howard. The NHL's only retired 32 belonged to Dale Hunter of the Washington Capitals. The NBA has retired the 32s of Kevin McHale, Brian Winters, Billy Cunningham, Sean Elliott, Fred Brown, Johnson, Erving and Walton. Meanwhile, Brown and Al Blozis are the only 32s retired by the NFL.
A list published on SI.com some time after that mentioned in the 16th post rearranged the order of the greatest #32s, dropping Jim Brown behind Magic Johnson and adding Walton to the list of runners-up. Accompanying the original list was an article that notes other standout 32s.
To cap this all off, a story: for Purim of 2001, I had run out of ideas and settled for a quickie costume: wearing a long undershirt transformed via the magic of a black marker into the uniform of my all-time favorite pitcher, Sandy Koufax. Problem was, I had no idea what his number was. Throwing caution to the wind, I hastily scribbled down #32 and went forth to Get Candy. I wore it once more for the next Purim too (below).

Imagine my surprise when, just a year after that, I received the "Baseball: An Illustrated History" book, and found within it a photograph of Sandy tossing a high fast one at the batter, shirt in plain sight, and displaying what else but the number... Thirty-Two!


TODAY'S BOOK: "Carry On, Mr. Bowditch", by Jean Lee Latham ((c) 1955)

Labels: 32, baseball, photo, picture, random

Over two months after publicly complaining about it (82nd post) and even longer since the problem first arose, Zuda Comics have finally graciously allowed me to be able to log in and influence the vote on the best webcomic in competition. Last month there was no clear-cut winner for me, but this time I have a candidate to throw my inconsiderable weight behind, and that's Starfish. It has the most compelling storyline and terrific artwork, and is overall utterly compelling. Running a close second is Will Wrestle: For Science, which also has good artwork and interesting character designs but unfortunately has a plot and narration that lack coherence. Joe Comics starts good (the first page is my favorite) but loses its springiness toward the end. Teachers and The Passenger both sucked utterly; the rest did not interest me.
Personally, I'm going to postpone any participation in competing in this until I learn better graphic arts (all I can do now is simple coloring). Maybe in about a year.


TODAY'S BOOK: "Extra Nutty! Even More Letters from a Nut", by Ted L. Nancy ((c) 2000)

Labels: biographical

I agree.



TODAY'S BOOK: "The Shy Stegosaurus of Cricket Creek", by Evelyn Sibley Lampman ((c) 1955)

Labels: random

Moving on from Quest, I have reached a bigger and better thing--namely, the ShiurTimes. I reached the Times via e-mail and offered my cartooning prowess; they accepted, giving in exchange no money but way more recognition than Quest. As a matter of fact, this is not my first 'toon to appear in it--I also had one in the January issue. However, the promised issue never arrived in the mail (as opposed to Feb.'s), so you'll have to make do with this.
[Background: Marwan Barghouti, the leader of the armed branch of Fatah, has been sitting in an Israeli jail since 2002 for a planned duration of five life sentences plus 40 years. Calls periodically come and go for (unfathomably) his release; the latest came a few months back when several politicians, including the pictured Deputy Defense Minister Matan Vilnai, saying he should be released as part of a package deal for the kidnapped IDF soldier Gilad Shalit. The cartoon is meant to highlight the absurdity of the reasoning behind the release calls.]


TODAY'S BOOK: "The Word Eater", by Mary Amato ((c) 2000)

Labels: biographical, cartoon

Ninety-nine Bottles of Beer on the Wall gottle o' geer ventriloquism magic sorcery the Sorceror's Apprentice Mickey Mouse Donald Goofy wacky crazy mad It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World MAD Magazine comic books paper plastic "Plastics" The Graduate seduction reduction abduction kidnapping kneecapping busted knees bust a move dance Dance Dance Revolution Revolutionary War redcoats lobsters crustaceans crusty grumpy Seven Dwarfs dwarfism tiny minscule scale weights weighty matters important impotent unable can't recant give up confess trial jail hoosegow Westerns cowboys Indians warpath anger explosion volcano Joe Vs. The boxing pugilism pugs pug noses schnozzola Ernie Lombardi catcher caught nabbed grabbed took taken for a ride roller coaster amusement park Six Flags burning the flag protest pros and cons contest win fail failure problem wrong not right Wright Brothers airplane jumbo jet flying wings birds beaks hooked Captain Hook Smee squee cute adorable Dora the Explorer Spanish foreign language foreign food haute cuisine snobbish haughty nose in the air nosy prying crowbar metal heavy metal rock bands rubber bands compiling stacked pyramid triangle three triple triplicate triplets multiple births giving birth painful hurtful name-calling sticks and stones broken bones cast casting call movie Hollywood glitzy shiny sparkly sprakles sparklers fireworks Fourth of July holiday day off vacation vaccination medicine medicall bills duck-billed platypus odd cod cod liver oil disgusting foul smoke smoking cigarettes Camels desert hot cold icy ice rink hockey Wayne Gretzky ninety-nine.

TODAY'S BOOK: "Fear No Evil", by Natan Sharansky ((c) 1988)

Labels: free association